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September 5, 2009

Difficult Conversations – Getting Started

Filed under: Conversation Tips — admin @ 7:10 am


Is there a conversation you’ve been putting off? Is there a coworker or family member with whom you need to talk – but don’t? Maybe you’ve tried and it didn’t turn out as you had hoped. Or maybe you fear that talking will only make things worse. Whatever the reason, you feel stuck and you’d like to free up that energy for more useful purposes.

One of the most common reasons I hear in my workshops for not holding difficult conversations, is that people don’t know how to begin. Here are a few conversation openers I’ve picked up over the years – and used many times.

• I’d like to discuss something with you that I think will help us work together better.
• I think we may have different ideas about _____________. When you have some time, I’d like to talk about it.
• I’d like to hear your thoughts on ____________. Do you have a minute?
• I need your help with what just happened (or – I need your help with __________). Can we talk?
• I’d like to see if we might reach a better understanding about ___________. I really want to hear your thoughts on this.

All of these openers help to create an environment of respect and mutual purpose. You can say almost anything as long as you maintain these two critical conditions.

Practice, Practice, Practice
The art of conversation is like any art – with continued practice you acquire skill and ease. You, too, can create better working and family relationships, ease communication problems, and improve the quality of your environment. Here are 3 tips to get you started.

1) A successful outcome will depend on two things: how you are and what you say. How you are (centered, supportive, curious, problem-solving) will greatly influence what you say.
2) Know and return to your purpose at difficult moments.
3) Practice the conversation before holding the real one, either mentally or with a friend. Try out different scenarios and visualize yourself handling each with ease. Envision the outcome you’re hoping for.

Good luck, and remember that if you can find a mutual purpose for holding the conversation, and if you extend and maintain respect, you will be fine. Let me know how it goes!

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September 4, 2009

How to Start a Conversation with a Guy

Filed under: Conversation Tips — admin @ 8:24 pm


Being able to converse with anyone is a great communication skill to possess. Girls someone times really want to talk to a guy yet do not know what to do or say. You simply need to learn one skill which is widely adaptable to many situations and is not just useful for interacting with a guy.

To use this technique, all you do is pick up on what is going on in your surroundings. Preferably make it something the other person is aware of or would be aware of once you use it.

In the shopping scenario, the girl could use things like the place being busy or how hot the weather is.

Wait, I here you saying “this technique sucks”. Yes, these examples are very boring and probably wouldn’t be effective in the shopping scenario I’m talking about but they can still work when used in the right situation. This is a really simple conversational starter technique that in fact is so simple alot of people naturally use the situation around them as a conversation starter making the technique a bit mundane and ineffective.

To make better use of this technique, you need to use more indepth situational influences for effective conversational starters. These involve discussions on more unusual things about the situation and rely on your creativity.

The girl could ask the guy how to locate a specific store or item. She could ask him where he got his hat because she would like to buy one for her brother (you can lie about it ). Say the guy is 20 years old, she could ask him for his opinion on whether her 20 year old guy friend would like an item she thinks this new guy has an interest in. Very sneaky isn’t it?

This leads onto your next problem of keeping the conversation going.

Keep Building Momentum

I know myself and other guys love to talk about themselves. Hey, it is only natural to talk about yourself because it’s the easiest topic to talk about. You can harness and leverage this with the guy by asking good open-ended questions.

In the shopping scenario, say the girl started the conversation by asking the guy, “Excuse me. I’m after a basketball for my brother. I thought you would know a bit about it and was wondering what advice you could give me?” The girl would listen attentively using positive body language and showing other forms of interest in what the guy is saying. If he doesn’t know much about basketballs, it doesn’t really matter as she could then keep the conversation going by asking him “what things are you interested in then?”

She can increase her chances of keeping the conversation going by asking for his advice on an item she thinks would be of interest to him. She can guess what he’s interested in by looking at his clothes, his friends, what he’s currently doing, or anything else that is noticable. The girl may have asked him for his advice on buying a basketball because he was wearing a basketball jersey.

Having asked for his advice and listened attentively, she can keep the conversation going by building onto “branches” he created when talking. She can do this by asking saying something such as “Thanks. You do know a lot about basketballs. How did you get all this knowledge?” She can build a conversation about the item and branch out into related topics that she thinks the guy is interested in depending on his energy when speaking on the topic.

Depending on the girl’s motives for wanting to talk to this guy, she could then divert towards her goals yet still keep what she saying relevant by saying something such “Oh thankyou. I asked because I saw you were wearing a jersey and you looked very athletic. I like that.” Another sneaky technique for you girls!

If you do make a mistake and stuff up the conversation with him, don’t worry about it. Use the reframing technique by saying things to yourself such as “I stuffed up and am now smarter for next time” or “I don’t care. I’m the prize.” You are reframing your mind to perceive the situation from a better point of view that is more healthy for well-being.

You now know how to start a conversation with a guy and how to keep it going. I hope you’ve enjoyed it and all that is left for you to do is to get out there and practice!

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Joshua Uebergang has provided you with a free guide to how to start a conversation with a guy here. You can also develop better conversation skills by visiting his blog.

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September 3, 2009

Conversations on your first date

Filed under: Conversation Tips — admin @ 9:09 pm


This is a natural concern for a lot of people that what they will talk on first date. This could be more difficult when you don’t know the other person’s like’s dislikes. Fortunately, it’s easier than you may think.

Date is usually centered on some sort of activity and it would best idea to go for a movie. This solves most of your problems for you. During a movie, you don’t have to talk about anything and afterward, the movie itself serves as a topic of conversation.

Make your first date short and centered on an activity of some sort will do a lot to calm your nerves. Yes it is true that you still have to talk during the trip restaurant, theater and home even during meal as well. This is not a big problem. You can share your interest and talk about anything common between you.

Your conversation will be based upon you and your date’s initial meeting. You already know something about your date, so this makes conversation much easier; you simply base your conversation on what you already know about him or her.

You can impress your partner with your knowledge of his or her interests Ask about a problem she is facing and trying to get rid of you can surely help her by advice. If you’ve ascertained the other person’s interests, you can even do some reading up on them before the next date so that.

You can make her laugh by cracking jokes women always admires men with sense of humor as they love to laugh. Share your future planes what you are going to do next and of course be tactful because they don’t like silly talks.

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Check Top 10 cute pickup lines . Learn love secrets from online-love-guru.blogspot.com Love Guru.

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September 2, 2009

How to Keep the Conversation Flowing on the First Date

Filed under: Conversation Tips — admin @ 11:22 pm

Some Tips

Questions help in learning about the other person’s tastes and interests and calculating whether both of you are compatible enough for beginning a romantic relationship.
Listen attentively to what your date has to say for conveying your seriousness towards the relationship. Other than the all important questions to keep a conversation going, attentive listening is an important ingredient for a nice date. It also helps in framing follow-up questions.
Try to keep the first date simple and short so that a lot of curiousness develops for the next dates in case you decide for the same. Risky discussions such as politics, past relationships and religion should be avoided.
Stay relaxed and add a tinge of humor to your conversation every now and then.

Some Basic Questions

As both the persons do not know each other properly during their first date, maintaining a flowing conversation can be a little difficult task. Some basic questions to keep a conversation going are:

What were you doing all day? This is one of the best conversation starters on first dates as it provides the other person with a chance to describe about him/herself and it also creates a good impression of you on account of your manners and politeness. This also provides us with an opportunity of learning about the other person’s personality based on the content of their description.

Do you like to keep pets? This is one of the most interesting questions to keep a conversation going as it usually initiates a nice and lively conversation. This question works irrespective of the fact whether your date is a pet lover or not as in any case the other person loves explaining their viewpoint. Such lively talks help in developing a comfortable air which is very much essential for having a fun-filled date.

What are your hobbies? This question again focuses on your date’s tastes and interests and hence they will love talking about it. It also helps you to calculate your compatibility with your date in terms of hobbies. If any common passion exists, it provides for an exciting topic to discuss upon. You can discuss about the reasons behind loving a particular hobby and your proficiency level in it. This also helps in gauging the personality of your date in terms of being work oriented or not.

What do you think about….? Such open ended questions are good to initiate a conversation with someone. You can ask questions about the present situation or something that has happened recently. Answers to such questions usually provide good discussion opportunities.

Such simple questions go a long way in striking a flowing conversation during a date. The most important thing about asking questions on a date is that you should always focus upon your date and make him/her speak out about themselves and always remember to keep a smile on your face. Smile, confidence, open ended questions, curiosity and attentive listening are important factors for having a remarkable first date in terms of conversation.

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Look into these easy and useful conversation starters for couples in a rut. Perhaps here are the 20 questions to get to know someone guaranteed and enjoy these romantic conversation starters to be a star on your very first date.

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September 1, 2009

4 Great Conversation Starters For Meeting Women

Filed under: Conversation Tips — admin @ 9:41 am

Meeting women is one of the biggest challenges to guys in the dating scene. Now matter how many positive qualities you display, you must learn to approach women and engage them in a conversation. If you know great conversation starters, then you’ll instantly create an engaging discussion.
So if you’re interested in attracting the women you see, then I recommend you use the following great conversation starters.
1. Use normal approach techniques
Let me emphasis ONE thing…
Pick-up lines NEVER work!
Instead of attempting to use a canned pick up line, it’s important to use a more natural approach. In fact, it’s often better to use a direct approach to start talking to women. This means if you’re interested in a woman and want to talk to her, all you have to do is simply introduce yourself. Then you allow the discussion to unfold.
What’s funny is many guys are looking for the perfect conversation starter. However the simple truth is a great way to talk to a woman is to just use a natural approach. If you have confidence and avoid the pickup lines used by other guys, then you’ll impress her with your straightforward manner.
2. Use the cocky/funny approach
Being humorous with a touch of arrogance is my personal favorite of these great conversation starters. Specifically this approach is often called “cocky/funny”.
Made famous by seduction guru David DeAngelo, the cocky/funny technique involves approaching a woman with a slightly arrogant manner while demonstrating a funny personality which gets her to laugh. The purpose behind this technique is to give yourself higher status and make HER work for YOUR attention.
Cocky/funny is a fun way to approach a woman because you come in with high energy and instantly provide her with excitement. Then all you have to do is let the conversation evolve into sexual banter.
3. Use a complimentary comment
Great conversation starters can often be initiated by simply complimenting a woman. Unlike corny pickup lines, a nice comment is well-thought out and shows tact.
Just remember one thing. When you compliment a woman, ALWAYS focus on something instead of her looks. The goal is to start a conversation by giving a genuine compliment on something she can control like the way she dresses or her personality. By doing this, you’re demonstrating that you pay attention and you like her UNIQUE personality.
4. Use a situational conversation starter
The final way to initiate a conversation is to use a ’situational opener’. This technique involves using specific incident as a reason to start talking to a woman. It involves seeing something interesting around you and then casually using it to parlay into a conversation with a woman.
For instance, say you witness a really drunk guy making a jerk of himself. You can use this incident to start talking to girls who are near this guy.
All four of these great conversation starters provide a wonderful way to start talking to a woman. Since each provides a natural to approach a girl, you won’t trigger her defense mechanisms like you would with a canned pick up line. Now all you have to is get out there and use them on women you’re interested in.

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