NiceGuysDatingGuide.com

Online dating services via the Internet are fast becoming a very popular way to meet others and form relationships. And the services are popular for seniors as well.

People at this stage of life are sometimes experiencing the loss of lifelong spouses and suddenly find themselves in a situation where they are lonely. For some, the thought of being lonely is too much and they would like to find someone else to share the remainder of life with so they turn to online dating services. But seniors must be careful that in their eagerness they don’t overlook some things to watch out for in online dating.

While there are many honest people providing services on the Internet, there are also many unscrupulous people who are out to take whatever they can from others – especially seniors.

Here are seven tips for seniors when it comes to online dating:

1. Limiting the amount of personal information you expose to strangers on the internet is one of the most important safety measures you as a senior (or anyone else for that matter) can take in online dating.

2. Be truthful about the pictures of yourself that you post. Take the first step to be honest with people. Don’t post pictures of yourself in your 30s when you are in your 50s.

3. You should be especially careful of revealing any information to a non-paying or free member on the dating service site. Understand that an online dating service web site is a business just like any other valid business. They need to be able to collect a fee in order to stay online and pay their expenses for web hosting service, webmaster maintenance, and fees associated with making and collecting payments. A free member trying to get you to circumvent the system and release your personal information and deal offsite is probably a scammer. He or she may not be such but the risk is too high to take chances.

4. The best tip is to try and get a background check on the person you meet in the online dating service forum. An online dating service named TheBadge.org will actually do free background checks for convicted felons and married people who join their site. And they have some pretty stern warnings for these people as well. Many also do not know that you can look up conviction information in many states in the U.S. The court systems in many states have web sites with judicial records that are available to the public. You can see if the person is divorced or has charges of domestic violence or other criminal charges.

5. When you have arranged a first date, meet in a public place. Also, tell a friend or close family member where you are going for this date and the times you will be there. Take a cell phone. There is much less likelihood that something will happen in a public place.

6. Be careful of persons you are communicating with for a possible date who ask a lot of questions but will not answer your questions. Con artists and predators are very skilled at getting information they need by formulating questions in such a manner that they derive the answers. You can actually give them information you never intended to give. And because these predators know this, they will not answer your questions because you might figure out who they really are.

7. And finally, a good rule to always follow is if something does not feel right, don’t proceed with it. You will be able to tell when the person you are communicating with is not quite right. Something inside of you will alert you. Listen to that hunch inside of you. It could keep you out of a lot of trouble.

Follow these rules and you will increase the chances that your online dating adventure will be a safe and memorable one.

“Scratch an adult, and you’ll find a scared child underneath.” Who said this? I did. Ok, it’s not a very famous quote. But, I do say it, over and over. And people shake their heads yes, acknowledging that they know what I mean.

“Under stress, we regress.” The man who trained me many years ago said this. And I say it over and over again to people all the time. Given some stress, we drop back to a younger way of behaving, feeling and thinking. You might call it the “knee jerk reaction.”

So, this is the problem with many of your relationships. We see it in the boss who over-reactes. It’s in the over-wrought parent who abuses a child in the name of discipline. And it is certainly in the relationship spats we have with our lovers.We’re all scared children reacting in knee jerk ways as soon as any stress builds up.

Unless you’re more aware than most, this pattern is not immediately obvious. It can be a mystery as to why you blew up over nothing, or why your partner seems so unreasonable when you’re trying to be so logical. At some level, and it’s usually unconscious, we’d scared. We’re afraid of experiencing some level of discomfort, and our primal training moves us to react in inappropriate ways.

Add to this that our brain has spent years and years associating negative expectations to all kinds of events and it is amazing that we can have such normal relationships most of the time.

And what about those people that “never” react? They are always so pleasing and never would say anything unsettling to anyone else. I guarantee that they are doing the same process on the inside. They cringe, they run away, they feel pain. Their over-compliant ways are actually a form of knee-jerkiness that defines a life-time.

Compliant niceness and super-negotiability are, more often than not, a way to handle their own deep down fear that they will cause someone to have such a knee jerk reaction towards them.

The Solution:

How I wish I could give you a single, smart, simple answer for this problem! Not a chance! You’ll be learning to live in more productive ways for the rest of your life. In fact, working on this one personality reality is what your relationships are particularly suited for.

Here’s the solution as simply as I can put it.

First, be aware that “Under stress, we always regress.” And good stress is still stress. Ever wonder how two people at a wonderful wedding celebration can suddenly have a huge argument? It’s because the wedding is stressful. It’s good stress, but it’s still stress. Just acknowledging that this is how life works helps us to name it and bounce back faster.

Secondly, realize that you can not stop regressions from occurring. With practice you’ll identify it faster and recover quicker, but our reactions will always be with us lurking beneath the surface. You’ll just become better and better at handling it.

Thirdly, realize what maturity really is. It is NOT stopping it, but getting out of it faster and faster each time. What bothered me several days last year, may only bother me several hours this year, and next year it may only be a three second blip. It is still there but I become less and less reactive to it.

This is the basis of my therapy work with couples. I help them get used to the things that each of them react to, to recognize what stresses each of them, and to grow in maturity so that they don’t react so strongly in the future.

I encourage you to take this short outline to heart. If I could get this little lesson deep within you, you’d never have to read another of my articles.

You will ALWAYS react, but with time and awareness you can lower the power of this reactivity and create peace and serenity for you and your partner.

Women, even very beautiful women, like to be approached by a confident and interesting man.

This is a little secret that those of the female persuasion keep from us guys. Are you surprised? It is true that confident and interesting are much more important than looks to ladies of all ages, too.

That holds true for Internet Dating, as well as, dating in your brick and mortar world.

If you have joined an Online Dating service, you will find that there a lot more men than women and that the men are much more likely to browse profiles and make initial contacts than women.

Yes, it is a womans world, still. It is traditional for men to make the first move. It always has been and it always will be. Some things never change. That is why your profile and picture are so important.

Remember, confident and interesting, does not translate to cocky and self-centered.

It is important that your profile lets people know that you have friends you care about and that you are passionately interested in a variety of things, not JUST sports.

Another thing about that all important profile, please do not start it with, I am the guy your mama warned you about.

You will have just shot yourself in the foot with that line. Another one to never use is, I could be the man of your dreams.

The lady HOPES you are but she will be the judge of that, so do not insult her intelligence. Remember to exude confidence and be interesting and you will find that lady you have been looking for or she will find you.

Do you not think it would be nice to have the ladies contacting you instead of you having to do everything? If you write a great profile that stands out in the crowd, that will happen.

Dating success is actually spelled A-B-C.

Getting back to basics can work wonders in dating relationships. So head back to school and go over the ABC of dating.

A is for agreeable and appearance. You need not agree with everything your date says. But act in an agreeable manner.

Bummer, but gruff, loud comments and sounds (like farts and burping) can scare some women off fast.

So can unkind, rude, obnoxious, drunk, sexist, racial and mean comments. So act like a gentleman and keep the focus light and easy. And when dating in person and not online, have a neat appearance.

No need for formal attire, but wear clean clothes without rips in them.

B is for body language. Keep the eyes where they need to be, gents. No lewd stares or even quick glances at cleavage, regardless of whether or not the looks are directed at your date or other people. And keep communications open with your arms relaxed, i.e. not crossed and closed.

C is for communications and YES, you need to do this. Unfortunately women do not drop out of trees into your arms or most do not. So you need to get out there, online or off, find them, email, chat, phone or somehow communicate with them.

So back to the basics, gents. And then forward into battle of the sexes!

Using the correct approach on online dating sites can enable any man to have many dates each week.

Online dating has a great advantage for men that have approach anxiety. Lets face it, most men have issues in going up to a strange women or a group of women to start a conversation. With online dating, one totally avoids this issue.

If you have come out of a long marriage or relationship, online dating is a great way to get back into the dating game and to build up your confidence.

One online dating tip is about your profile. The general principle is that less is best in your profile. Women like mystery so do not tell everything about yourself. Start telling a few things but leave a lot unsaid.

Make your profile different from the usual and make it funny and a challenge in some way. Women hate needy man and a lot of men’s profiles come across as very needy.

When it comes to photos it is good to have a few different photos rather than one. It is not a good policy to have a photo with no shirt on as most women think you are a playboy if you do.

You will find that a lot of women have misleading photos and lie about their age too. I have found that they tend to use a photo that was taken about 5 years ago. I feel that men do not need to lie about their age as sooner or later the woman will find out you have lied about your age or other lies. This destroys any trust in the relationship. Close relationships develop over time and the best ones are based on no lies.

The best way to begin writing your profile is to have a few different profiles on different dating sites and see what works best for you. Did it get a good response or a poor response for one profile or another. What was right about it and what was wrong? Ask a few women friends to take a look at your profile and get some feedback

Try a few different emails to different women and again work out what gets the best result too. Being funny and a challenge is again a good approach.

On the first date it is important not to try too hard. This comes across for a women as needy and you are fake in some way. Just be yourself and have some fun and be cool too.

Generally, do not take a women out for the first date for dinner or spend any money on her. Personally I like to take her to a walk near my place with great views etc.

Date a few women each week and this will give you the vibe that you are selecting the women and not the other way around.

Have fun dating many women from online dating sites.