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So you meet a wonderful guy and he seems to be perfectly normal. Although you weren’t expecting to find an average Joe attractive, you’re at least willing to try even the peculiar (relative to your previous choices, that is). You’re just about done with fireworks, anyway; sparklers no longer thrill you. Now you seek comfort and dependability. Love is lovelier, you think, with logic.
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When it comes to our aging parents and their relationship choices, we tend to pass judgment even though we totally hate the thought of them passing judgment on us for the same sorts of things.
Interesting, isn’t it? We pass judgment on our parents even though we totally hate the thought of them passing judgment on us for the same sorts of things. Talk about a double standard!
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Should you date someone purely for emotion and go with the laws of attraction or should you take a more scientific approach and carefully study the possible candidates or potential suitors to date? This provided that you do have more than one or several potential choices as is usually the case. Now many would cringe at the thought of doing anything but allowing your natural human instinct to choose your date, set the pace and determine who will be the players in your dating race.
The other day a gentleman who is middle aged baby boomer was lamenting to me that he was doing a little dating and had not found any worthy choices. He lives local, but travels the world; I think he said this was his fifth or sixth home, something like that. He asked me for dating advice and we got to talking. I told him that maybe he was going about this dating thing all wrong.
Self-loathing can show up when you least expect it and can live in your psyche without your even knowing it. It’s like a dirty little secret that only you know about. You fear others will find out so you bury it into the deep recesses of your consciousness, hoping that it will never surface. The irony is that what you think is hidden is really radiating out from you by the choices you make, the relationships you are in and even in how you look. Do you smile often, welcoming the world? Or is there a heaviness surrounding you that drains you of energy? By masking those parts of you that you hold in judgment in darkness you are actually perpetuating your self-loathing, not healing it. By denying your darkest thoughts their natural path to the surface you are holding them in a place where they will take root and soon begin bearing bitter fruit.
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