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I’m sure you’ve heard the expression that “You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar”. In case you haven’t heard it, it means that you get much further with compliments than with put-downs and criticism. This is especially true in relationships. I’ve read that psychologists say that it takes as many as ten positive comments to offset one negative comment, but I don’t know whether or not that’s true. The power of one positive comment can be pretty amazing.

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In all relationships, even ones that are considered to be good ones, there are going to be disagreements from time to time. How you handle those disagreements is a key factor in how long the relationship will last, and how happy and successful it will be. That’s why I always recommend to never go to bed angry.

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By now, you all know (or should know) how important communication is in a relationship. However, it is not simply letting your partner know what you’re thinking, but it’s at least as much, if not more so, about listening to what they have to say. Remember, the thing many people seem to miss about communication is that it is a two-way street. And, does anyone remember the rules for crossing any street, that we all learned as children? STOP, LOOK, AND LISTEN.

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While it is very important to stand for something, to have beliefs and values, and stick to them, that doesn’t mean that you have to be stubborn to the point that you always have to get your way. When it comes to things that would violate your morals or values, then yes, by all means, stick to your guns. But when it comes to smaller issues, and even some bigger issues, compromise is a valuable tool.

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In the beginning, most relationships have lots of positive energy, or spark. Everyone feels good about everything, and the world around them seems not to exist, or at least be relevant. Then life steps in, and brings you back down to earth. “The honeymoon is over,” so to speak. This doesn’t mean the happy times, the fun times, have to be gone forever, leaving you wondering, ten, twenty years later, what happened. There are numerous ways to keep that spark alive, such as flirting, going out on dates, and being creative.

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